![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Oct. 24th, 2000
A place to keep your mug
Oct. 24th, 2000 11:14 amThat’s what I always wanted. To me, this is the ultimate sign of feeling at home. To have a place where you can relax, make some nice tea and just... breathe. I was missing this when I came to this city. The university was so huge and there was not even one place to hang out at. Only a few cold stone benches where you could crouch with other students, getting choked to death by their cigarette smoke and hating every single one of them for the smell and noise they produce. I wanted a place I had known at my old school, where there were sofas and music, the smell of coffee and tea, with familiar faces and the security of just being able to fall asleep on the spot without anybody threatening you. You can’t do that here. Here, it’s too large a place, too many people, too many who hate you as much as you hate them, although it’s their situation they should blame.
And then – it must be exactly one year ago – my roommate returned from one of his first classes in architecture and he was very happy about it all. And I was envious, because he appeared to content and at home. His place was no hostile battle field, but a loving environment. Like students of architecture often are, they all seemed to be of rather rich families, and they could equip their lounges with stereo systems and all sorts of other convenient stuff. But that didn’t really bother me, it was rather the fact that they had a lounge. And what was even worse, they had a huge shelf where they could put their mugs. That made me realise what I was missing.
Now I have a place to put my mug. I found it at my job. Here I can make myself a nice tea while working. This is nice. I won’t pretend that I love this job. I hate it far too often. I hate it that it makes have to get up early, that I have to write secretly when the boss isn’t looking, because I just can’t sit near a computer without writing down my thoughts. I hate it that I always come late and that my boss yells at me and the next instant she’s nice again, but I still can’t like her.
But, I have my mug... and it’s a good way to get through the day without not talking to anybody.
And then – it must be exactly one year ago – my roommate returned from one of his first classes in architecture and he was very happy about it all. And I was envious, because he appeared to content and at home. His place was no hostile battle field, but a loving environment. Like students of architecture often are, they all seemed to be of rather rich families, and they could equip their lounges with stereo systems and all sorts of other convenient stuff. But that didn’t really bother me, it was rather the fact that they had a lounge. And what was even worse, they had a huge shelf where they could put their mugs. That made me realise what I was missing.
Now I have a place to put my mug. I found it at my job. Here I can make myself a nice tea while working. This is nice. I won’t pretend that I love this job. I hate it far too often. I hate it that it makes have to get up early, that I have to write secretly when the boss isn’t looking, because I just can’t sit near a computer without writing down my thoughts. I hate it that I always come late and that my boss yells at me and the next instant she’s nice again, but I still can’t like her.
But, I have my mug... and it’s a good way to get through the day without not talking to anybody.
(no subject)
Oct. 24th, 2000 10:32 pmDid this ever happen to you? That you see something and it makes your breath falter for an instant, because it's so beautiful? Today I surfed the web a bit and so something so unspeakably beautiful... made me wish ardently that I was very rich. I was on the official Anne Rice homepage and there found a link to a doll manufacturer who made a couple of Vampire Chronicles dolls! Oh my God, never ever in all my life have I seen such a beautiful doll. Lestat, in his red velvet coat with the wolf fur collar. Awesome...
Let me share a picture with you...
Isn't he beautiful?
And then there was Louis, who was even more gorgeous, in his black beauty. I wanted those so much... but they are unaffordable. They sell for $ 3,500 each... *sighs*. They are handcrafted and limited to 20 pieces worldwide. No wonder they are so expensive. But they were so beautiful. It almost made me cry, because I wanted them so badly. I don't even like the Vamp Chrons all that much, but the dolls were absolutely gorgeous... What a shame I'm not rich. I could afford so many nice things, and I could visit my beloved every month or so! Wouldn't that be nice? Or I could make a habit of seeing her each weekend! *_* Woohoo, imagine that! How extravagant! "No, I spend my weekends in New York!" LOL
Okay, that's silly, but a girl can dream, eh? It's just sad that your heart's desire can only be made possible through money, no? Or almost only. I think about that a lot. You know, the Mirror of Erised. "I show you not your face, but your heart's desire." What would it show me? I honestly don't have a clue. I desire and wish for a lot of things. But what is my heart's deepest desire? I would love to know that. Or a boggart. What am I afraid of the most? Okay, I fear spiders, true. But that can't be the thing I'm afraid of the most! Sure, there are things like the death of a beloved one or loneliness that I fear, but a boggart couldn't take that shape, since it's nothing materialistic or real. So, what would my boggart be, I wonder... Most probably something with glowing red eyes. Those never fail to give me the creeps. Scares the hell out of me! LOL
Let me share a picture with you...
Isn't he beautiful?
And then there was Louis, who was even more gorgeous, in his black beauty. I wanted those so much... but they are unaffordable. They sell for $ 3,500 each... *sighs*. They are handcrafted and limited to 20 pieces worldwide. No wonder they are so expensive. But they were so beautiful. It almost made me cry, because I wanted them so badly. I don't even like the Vamp Chrons all that much, but the dolls were absolutely gorgeous... What a shame I'm not rich. I could afford so many nice things, and I could visit my beloved every month or so! Wouldn't that be nice? Or I could make a habit of seeing her each weekend! *_* Woohoo, imagine that! How extravagant! "No, I spend my weekends in New York!" LOL
Okay, that's silly, but a girl can dream, eh? It's just sad that your heart's desire can only be made possible through money, no? Or almost only. I think about that a lot. You know, the Mirror of Erised. "I show you not your face, but your heart's desire." What would it show me? I honestly don't have a clue. I desire and wish for a lot of things. But what is my heart's deepest desire? I would love to know that. Or a boggart. What am I afraid of the most? Okay, I fear spiders, true. But that can't be the thing I'm afraid of the most! Sure, there are things like the death of a beloved one or loneliness that I fear, but a boggart couldn't take that shape, since it's nothing materialistic or real. So, what would my boggart be, I wonder... Most probably something with glowing red eyes. Those never fail to give me the creeps. Scares the hell out of me! LOL
