Recently on Snapeslash (aka. The Fake Version)

[silversolitaire]

I assure you, absolutely NO spoilers to OotP on the following post. The *real* version, that is! XD Just read this, people, this is hilarious beyond all words and I give you my word, the real book won't be spoiled. And you'll have the laugh of your lifetime.

Also, since I don't want to poke fun at the people involved I'm anonymizing it.




Subject: [snapeslash] OOTP review SPOILERS

I got the book yesterday morning.Why so early you're going to ask? Well,that's the Internet for.Not very legal but it works.Whatever.

The begining is more than lame.It's starts too soon and and the writing style is horrible.For the first twenty pages I was wondering if I had downloaded some kind of low-quality fanfiction it was so bad.Some bad things happen and Harry reaction to is next to nothing.He gets told that his mom used to work for Voldie and what? Nothing.He just skips that and keep asking other questions.

Sirius gets caught and I didn't find a single line where it is said that Harry is worried.Also we given some very explanations about some things.

Also anyone heard some thing about undead Phoenixes? We've got that too.

And to all Snape's lovers here,I have a good and a bad news. The good one first:he is really a spy and saves Harry life. The bad one:that's all about we see of him.Well,I am at the last fourth of the book and till now Snape has only one scene. And don't get me started about Draco polimagus creature - why the hell he turns into that monster?

The good points about the book are-
after the first 50 pages the style improves considerably.We see a more complex Draco,not just a two-dimensional jerk.He falls in love actually and stays rather true to that love.Till the moment I'm at
that is,I don't know what happens after that. I was dreading that Rowling was going to screw up with Harry's love interest and describing the relationship,but she actually did rather nicely.The plot itself is ineresting and complicated enough. That's it for now.If I can think of something else I'll say.

Replies that ensue can basically be summed up with:
"Uh, no."
"????"
"BWAHAHAHHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!"

To which the following mail arrived:

Subject: [snapeslash] OK I'm confused

Ladies,yesterday I posted some odd review about HP 5.As far as I understood I've obviously downloaded some very big rubbish.*gulps* But I really need to be sure that's not the real book,cause it was really what it looked like,the length,the complexity and and the style (well,the style in the second part). Can you please give me some brief summary about what happens in the book so I can be sure?
S
p
o
i
l
e
r

I'm not sure if these questions can be considered spoilers . In HP 5 does Draco become animagus?Does Harry and Co. become animagi? Is Dudley with wizard powers?Is Voldie Harry's grandpa? Oh,God,if I have posted a review of a false Hp 5 I'm gonna die from embarrasment.

Reply by someone:

One word answers all your questions:
No.

And:

"Out of idle curiosity, did anyone die in the fake version?"

Answer:

"Yep,Colin Creevy.And Hermoine and Lupin.But they get resurrected.Lupin twice.I had to know it was fake. Only Colin stays dead."

And someone else sums it all up:

"Just hide under the desk. If you die, you won't be able to read the real version."

Comments

[krss.livejournal.com]

"Lupin twice"

LOL

[wednesdayschild.livejournal.com]

*IS ACTUALLY DEAD*

That is too funny.

In HP 5 does Draco become animagus?Does Harry and Co. become animagi? Is Dudley with wizard powers?Is Voldie Harry's grandpa? Oh,God,if I have posted a review of a false Hp 5 I'm gonna die from embarrasment.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA :))

[kribban.livejournal.com]

Did anyone actually take the time to write six hundred pages just for kicks???