silversolitaire

Beautiful,

It is May 1st and it's the 6th anniversary of your death. Again I woke up much sooner than 11 o'clock and without knowing it I walked out on the porch at that very moment of your last breath. Sher walked towards me, meowing happily and he made me pick him up and cuddle him, as if he knew I was going to be sad.

What can I say, love. I still miss you, but it hurts a lot less. I guess this is a good thing. Six years... seems like an eternity. I sometimes can't even remember the color of your eyes. I should look at your pictures, but I still can't. This will be my mission. I promise I will look at your pictures soon. And I will remember you the way you were and I will forget how you died. I promise you this. Just like I promised you I'd let you go.

I think I managed that. To let you go. I no longer feel you this close to my heart anymore. You no longer have this grip on me. You're merely a warming glow and this is how I want to remember you. I want to be able to smile when I think of you, not cry. I hope I'll have the strength to manage this.

I love you, forever. Never think I've forgotten you. I never will. I'm just trying to stop mourning you and start remembering you. I want to, desperately. I'll stop now or I will break my promise.

I remember you.

Silver

In loving memory of Amanda
deceased May 1st 1997, 10:40 AM
Viva in Aeternum, Bella.