*sighs depressedly*

[silversolitaire]

Okay, I was better before briefly, but now I'm feeling all depressed again. I so so hate it when my parents drive over to my place to do some jobs (mainly taking care of the garden) and then when they get back they give me hell about my crappy household for the next half an hour. My dad can be really mean about it. He says it all matter-of-factly as if it was plain obvious truth and every word is so hurtful and insulting. He says it's "socially inacceptable" and I'm a pig and I should be ashamed of myself... So, okay, I'm not very tidy. I usually don't bend down to pick up a tissue that I tried to toss into the wastebasket and missed. I pick it up all together when I take it out. And I don't bother with a magazine lying around on the floor. I just don't care. I don't see it. And if I have to step over it a hundred times, so be it. I usually just don't care. And what am I supposed to do with the trash. I can't just toss away old milkcartons, since I have to take them to the recycling yard and when I come home from college it's not open anymore. And I'm often tired when I get home. I don't feel like leaving again to take away the glass. And I feel like I can't handle all this myself. The dusting, vacuuming, cleaning, wiping, sweeping... It's too much for one person. A whole house and a garden... Why don't they see that? And they only give me hell. All the time, again and again. My bro, he's got it easy. He comes home every night, gets food made, never had to cook, clean, take out the trash. And he doesn't help my parents at all. But no, that doesn't matter. I'm only trying to divert attention when I point that out.

I hate this house. I wish I wouldn't have to go there every term. I loathe it. I loathe its oldness and ugliness and coldness and loneliness. I loathe loathe loathe it! Why don't they see that???? T_T

Comments

[boixboi.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Living on one's own sucks a lot, as I've learned this school year. I wish I could've been placed into the dorms, but they didn't take me, so I had no choice but to live alone. It's so much work to upkeep and take care of everything and make every meal-- and I don't even have an outside or a garden to deal with!

Absolute best of luck to you, that sucks that your parents have to be like that. *hugs again* They may not be able to appreciate what it's like, but I can.

[maantje.livejournal.com]

*huggles* Hope you feel better soon T_T

[kmazzy.livejournal.com]

*cuddles*

wah! i'm sorry i couldn't talk to you, i stayed later at Jo's to help her with interview questions. and then when i got home at 11 i had to pack and stuff. i was really tired. so i just went to bed after that.

it's your house, you can do what you like with it. but do bear in mind that it's a hell of a lot easier to tidy stuff up as you go along. i know it's not exactly motivating to keep it nice if you hate it, and won't be living there forever... but still.

*hugshugs* i'll speak to you sunday night i hope. x x x

[(Anonymous)]

Sorry this is anonymous, but your post really rings a bell for me. To be honest it sounds to me like typical parental sexist bullshit - women are supposed to be clean and tidy, guys are allowed to be slobs and pampered by their mothers into the bargain. It's this kind of double standard that really pisses me off.

Hang in there. One day you'll get your own place, a place that you like, and you can tell them all to piss off.