End of Term
Jul. 18th, 2002 10:36 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
silversolitaireLast night was strange. I said good night to Tom and went to bed and I thought I turn in with a nice bedside reading to rock me to sleep. I picked NY NY 4, unknowing of how much the ending would upset me. When I finally got to that part, I couldn't stop myself from crying. I cried like a baby, I cried and cried. I couldn't bear it anymore and went online again to talk to Tom a bit. He managed to comfort me. He said things that my brain had told me too, that were perfectly logical. That it was just a character in a manga and even though it wasn't really that bad, that it made sense and wasn't useless. It made me feel better. I calmed down and went to sleep. But of course I already had missed quite a lot of sleep that way. The result was that I looked like the walking death the next day. I must have looked bad because one of my class peeps, Harry, asked me if somebody had blacked my eye! o.o
Today was last day of term for me. It feels a bit sad. I kinda enjoyed this term, I really did. Especially the Thursday classes. They were so much fun. I didn't want them to end. Of course now it means no more classes, more time to be free. Yay! But I also have papers to write >_<. And I don't know... Somehow I'm not looking forward to my free time this time. I mean, of course I am, I will be spending it with the people I love, both online and IRL, and yet... I feel empty. I haven't been able to write or draw anything decent for months. Anything that I put out sort of has the taste of mediocrity. It's saddening. I feel empty and not challenged, creativity-wise. I have no aim right now. I don't like that. I need to feel inspired to be happy. I need an inspiration.
Another strange thing is that I actually have quite a lot to say lately. My mind's been buzzing with things that I wanted to put down in my LJ, that I wanted to talk about. And yet I never do. Why? It must be that terrible writer's block that extends to every even remote way of writing. I hate it...
Maybe I should write about it now and backdate then... Yes, this sounds like a good idea.
Today was last day of term for me. It feels a bit sad. I kinda enjoyed this term, I really did. Especially the Thursday classes. They were so much fun. I didn't want them to end. Of course now it means no more classes, more time to be free. Yay! But I also have papers to write >_<. And I don't know... Somehow I'm not looking forward to my free time this time. I mean, of course I am, I will be spending it with the people I love, both online and IRL, and yet... I feel empty. I haven't been able to write or draw anything decent for months. Anything that I put out sort of has the taste of mediocrity. It's saddening. I feel empty and not challenged, creativity-wise. I have no aim right now. I don't like that. I need to feel inspired to be happy. I need an inspiration.
Another strange thing is that I actually have quite a lot to say lately. My mind's been buzzing with things that I wanted to put down in my LJ, that I wanted to talk about. And yet I never do. Why? It must be that terrible writer's block that extends to every even remote way of writing. I hate it...
Maybe I should write about it now and backdate then... Yes, this sounds like a good idea.
