I'm not feeling so good today...

[silversolitaire]

It's this paranoia. It's kinda going strong today. I'm very nervous, I keep hearing noises everywhere... I should just stay in this room and not leave for the rest of the day. Like... when I came home it already was dark. I was fumbling with the keys and the wind was tearing at my clothes. Suddenly, I felt very nervous. I saw the path behind me reflect in the pane on the door. I suddenly thought how I could see someone sneaking up at me that way. The same moment, the garden gate slammed shut with a huge band. I dropped my bookbag and my swung around. My heart was beating painfully in my chest. Gods, I was so afraid. And then I went inside and it was all dark. It made me so nervous. The bad thing is that last week all the lightbulbs to the upper floor kinda conked and I didn't have any replacements. I wanted to bring some from home, but completely forgot. Now as I got into the house, I realized that I was going to have to go upstairs in the dark again. I almost died of fright last week doing that. No idea why, actually... I mean, I'm not a timid person. Not really... why did this scare me so? Anyway, I ran around the house, looking for bulbs that I could spare. Now at least I have some light...

I just want to sit here and not move for a while. I hate it when it's so stormy. There are so many weird noises... they just scare me.

That's the stupid thing about being paranoid. You begin to imagine what could happen, all kinds of variations of terrible accidents and evilness that you could encounter and imagining this alone scares the hell out of you.

Really stupid...

Comments

[no-ron.livejournal.com]

heeey, don't worry. you're not there yet. ;)
i wouldn't call that paranoia, only anxiety or fear.

and yeah, that's the fun of fear. that we're always afraid of what COULD be. would be quite useless to fear what already IS. *g*
mind is a bitch for playing such cruel games with us, ain't it? o_O

[gareon.livejournal.com]

better paranoid than too gullible.