I'm scared...
Oct. 15th, 2001 01:08 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
silversolitaireOf tomorrow... of ... everything. I can't stand the idea of so many people again, close to me. Loneliness, nothing to do. Emptiness... it scares me so much... So many people I miss... and who don't even know I do... know that I'm bleeding inside...
It's so painful to see that 90% of what I do is useless in the end... Senseless. Useless and unneccessary...
I am not allowed to keep my privacy. It scares me too. If that's what it means to be in a relationship, then I don't want to. I'd rather be by myself... even if it kills me. My thoughts and my freedom to choose what to do with them is all I have...
It's so painful to see that 90% of what I do is useless in the end... Senseless. Useless and unneccessary...
I am not allowed to keep my privacy. It scares me too. If that's what it means to be in a relationship, then I don't want to. I'd rather be by myself... even if it kills me. My thoughts and my freedom to choose what to do with them is all I have...
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2001-10-14 05:14 pm (UTC)