(no subject)
Oct. 16th, 2000 11:20 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
silversolitaireAh shoot! I completely forgot that I had made an entry that I didn't post before I had restarted my computer. The entry's now gone of course... grrrrr.
Well, wasn't too thrilling anyway. I'm too damn tired to say anything useful right now anyway, I'm afraid. I'm feeling rather peaceful right now, a bit indifferent even. This is really good though, since I usually get so sad and depressed when moving back to my flat again. But this wears off soon. I've already been flooded by quite some nice feelings already. Winter's coming again and I can wear my beautiful Holden-Caulfield coat and my nice hat. I feel "cool" then. I like that. I get inspired when I walk around in my coat. I should write down the ideas I had today about the "Mates".
My schedule's taking shape. I get the feeling that I'm doing not enough, but that's just temporary, I'm sure, since most of my work is done at home and not at the U. I have so much to read... *groans*
Yesterday I received the nicest reviews regarding the story I posted. I was very happy about that. But somehow my flow got a bit impeded. I was talking to a friend about fanfiction. I realize that writers don't like the idea of having fanfic written about their stuff. Okay. I can see that. But that doesn't mean I like it. I feel rejected as a fanfiction writer that way. Like I'm not wanted, not supposed to be a part of it. If I think about this too much, then there's something dying inside me, something shrivelling up... and it might not come back. I identify too much with being a fanfic writer.
Anyway, not that I've talked to my friend about it, I feel... impeded. I had a tremendous writing streak in the last two weeks. It was awesome and I thought... hoped it would continue. And now? Where is it? What happened? I really hope it's just the tiredness about a new term and so on and nothing else...
But... I'm feeling fine. Yes, I am. I arranged the furniture anew. Looks really nice although it's probably completely impractical and I'll have to change it again. But it's nice... with the lights and the candles. Cozy. I like that. I put my Final Fantasy VIII figurines on the shelf again. My beautiful statues... and there's my cardboard Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan watching me... and my pretty framed pictures of Ewan and Jon. I think I'll frame one with J.K.'s face. That would be nice, yes. I'm especially proud about my Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan 12"ers. It was difficult to get them here in Germany. And they are so pretty. I arranged them hugging each other, sitting on the couch facing me. I've got too much room anyway. A three-piece suit and no one to sit on it. So why not them? And then there's Darth Maul, who's even cooler and rarer. He watches them suspiciously *grins*. And then there are these Jedi and Sith figurines, larger than 12" who are standing on the window sill. They are having a vicious battle ^_^. Their 'sabers can be illuminated! hehehe. Once again, Maul is the rare one of them. And he was expensive, too, mind you. But they all look very very nice. Hm, can you tell that I was going through a severe Star Wars phase? Still am, actually. I love it just as much as I did last year. But that's normal. When I love something, I love it forever. But it's not my main focus right now. I'll need to adapt my room to this focus soon ^_~.
But my living room needs to remain civilized. I can't go wild here. I'll do that in my bedroom. Already did, as a matter of fact... *grins* Looking at my extensive Ewan-Jon-Brian-Ville-Jennifer-Catherine-Carrie-shrine... *drool*. I'll add a J.K. shrine, too, I think. But it's so difficult to get nice pics of her. But she's so beautiful... *melting sigh*
Okay, enough ramble. I should do something useful now. Just *any*thing.
I'll be getting my tickets for NY soon... YEIH!
Well, wasn't too thrilling anyway. I'm too damn tired to say anything useful right now anyway, I'm afraid. I'm feeling rather peaceful right now, a bit indifferent even. This is really good though, since I usually get so sad and depressed when moving back to my flat again. But this wears off soon. I've already been flooded by quite some nice feelings already. Winter's coming again and I can wear my beautiful Holden-Caulfield coat and my nice hat. I feel "cool" then. I like that. I get inspired when I walk around in my coat. I should write down the ideas I had today about the "Mates".
My schedule's taking shape. I get the feeling that I'm doing not enough, but that's just temporary, I'm sure, since most of my work is done at home and not at the U. I have so much to read... *groans*
Yesterday I received the nicest reviews regarding the story I posted. I was very happy about that. But somehow my flow got a bit impeded. I was talking to a friend about fanfiction. I realize that writers don't like the idea of having fanfic written about their stuff. Okay. I can see that. But that doesn't mean I like it. I feel rejected as a fanfiction writer that way. Like I'm not wanted, not supposed to be a part of it. If I think about this too much, then there's something dying inside me, something shrivelling up... and it might not come back. I identify too much with being a fanfic writer.
Anyway, not that I've talked to my friend about it, I feel... impeded. I had a tremendous writing streak in the last two weeks. It was awesome and I thought... hoped it would continue. And now? Where is it? What happened? I really hope it's just the tiredness about a new term and so on and nothing else...
But... I'm feeling fine. Yes, I am. I arranged the furniture anew. Looks really nice although it's probably completely impractical and I'll have to change it again. But it's nice... with the lights and the candles. Cozy. I like that. I put my Final Fantasy VIII figurines on the shelf again. My beautiful statues... and there's my cardboard Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan watching me... and my pretty framed pictures of Ewan and Jon. I think I'll frame one with J.K.'s face. That would be nice, yes. I'm especially proud about my Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan 12"ers. It was difficult to get them here in Germany. And they are so pretty. I arranged them hugging each other, sitting on the couch facing me. I've got too much room anyway. A three-piece suit and no one to sit on it. So why not them? And then there's Darth Maul, who's even cooler and rarer. He watches them suspiciously *grins*. And then there are these Jedi and Sith figurines, larger than 12" who are standing on the window sill. They are having a vicious battle ^_^. Their 'sabers can be illuminated! hehehe. Once again, Maul is the rare one of them. And he was expensive, too, mind you. But they all look very very nice. Hm, can you tell that I was going through a severe Star Wars phase? Still am, actually. I love it just as much as I did last year. But that's normal. When I love something, I love it forever. But it's not my main focus right now. I'll need to adapt my room to this focus soon ^_~.
But my living room needs to remain civilized. I can't go wild here. I'll do that in my bedroom. Already did, as a matter of fact... *grins* Looking at my extensive Ewan-Jon-Brian-Ville-Jennifer-Catherine-Carrie-shrine... *drool*. I'll add a J.K. shrine, too, I think. But it's so difficult to get nice pics of her. But she's so beautiful... *melting sigh*
Okay, enough ramble. I should do something useful now. Just *any*thing.
I'll be getting my tickets for NY soon... YEIH!
