He's doing it right again.

[silversolitaire]

So, I've hardly slept all night. Worrying about my dad, having nightmares and realizing that whatever it is that's troubling him, it results in that he doesn't give a shit about getting the DSL thing straightened out. We haven't even ordered the modems yet. I no longer have flatrate and I'm going crazy. I don't know how I'm going to make it. Honestly. And just when I managed to take my mind off all this shit finally, he comes in, still not telling me what's going on, and says casually that with the whole bunch of problems we're having right now, the DSL is the least of his concerns. As if I didn't know. But still he has to rub it into me.

I'll be damned if I ask again, only to get cryptic answers. I don't give a fucking shit anymore. Fuck them all. I'll even stop giving a fuck about whether we have to pay by the minute or not! Yeah! If he doesn't move his ass, *fuck him*. I'll just be online as much as I ever was and he can bitch about the bill later on for all I care. I've reached my limits and now entered the state of no longer giving a fuck about what's happening and what's going on.

It just makes me all so sick. I wish I had more money. Then I could be gone. Long gone. I'm tired of all this. Sometimes I wonder if I'm hating MY life or THEIR life... Because, as long as my girlfriend was here, life seemed to be a little less dull than usual. I'm just tired...