(no subject)

Amy posted this cool survey and I have a soft spot for such things, so I decided to snatch it. Hope you don't mind, girl. ^_^

How often do you cry?
At least once a week.

What makes you cry the easiest?
Myself.

What makes you really really happy?
Appreciation.

Has anyone close to you ever died?
Yes.

Has anyone close to you ever committed suicide?
Yes...

How many funerals have you been to?
Too many. 10 or so.

Have you ever cried over the death of a celebrity?
Oh yes.

What would be the scariest way to die (in your opinion)?
Burning to death or drowning.

What do you do in your spare time?
Sitting on my computer.

What are some of your fave restaurants?
Pizza Hut, TGI Friday's.

On average, how many times a week/month do you go out to eat?
Hm... really going out, not so often. But since I hate to cook, you could say several times a week. But it's not what I consider going out.

What time do you wake up in the morning?
12 PM, if nobody bugs me.

What is your natural sleeping pattern?
Bed 3 AM, write a bit, sleep.

What made you decide to have sex for the first time?
No special decision whatsoever.

Were you in love?
Guess so. But it wasn't really required.

What's your preferred method of birth control?
Gay sex ^_^.

Have you ever had a one-night stand?
Yes.

How many rooms does your house have? Bedrooms?
7 room, 3 bedrooms. Hilarious..

What would be your ideal living arrangement?
Alone, with people in reach when I need them.

How many times have you moved in your life?
2.

What city/state would like to live in?
New York, London or San Fransisco.

Have you ever lived on your own?
Yes.

Who do you live with now?
Nobody.

What do you do on weekends?
work on my website, write, chat.

Do you enjoy alone time?
Oh yes.

Who do you spend most of your time with?
Cid.

If you were stranded at home for a weekend, without a computer or a tv, what would
you do to entertain yourself?
Draw, read.

What is one thing you would love to learn (it doesn't have to be school related)?
More languages, anything related to art.

What are you really good at (writing, art, music, acting, etc.)?
writing, drawing.

If there was a book about your life, what would it be called?
mad, bad and dangerous to know.

What word describes your sense of style?
later...

What's your fave article of clothing?
coats

Describe a typical outfit you'd wear to school.
whatever happens to lie on the floor when I get up.

What season are you?
Autumn.

What's a good brand of make-up?
No clue.

How long does it take you to get ready to go out on the weekend?
10 mins.?

Sum up your life right now in 5-10 words.
Endless ride of sadness and joy.

(no subject)

I'm not feeling very well right now... like suffocating. Why always on tuesdays... I've got this very strong urge to do something drastic. Just... something. In the last days I felt the desire to die several times again. Of course I don't mean suicide. But... I wouldn't mind to just fade away. It's a strong craving. I hope it leaves soon...

Today at my job they were talking about SI and I got so angry. They didn't understand it a bit. They thought it was just a trendy and cool thing to do and everybody who does it basically is just copying someone else and striking a cool pose. Made me so unspeakably angry. I wanted to roll up my sleeves and show them my scars and tell them that I am 22 and I don't know anybody else in person who does this too and I've been doing this for such a long time and only now became aware of what I'm doing and I meant it every fucking time and I don't think it's cool or great or anything and I only wish somebody would finally notice how bad I'm feeling...

But nobody understands... nobody ever understands....

On a lighter note, I think I'll start my novel at last. I've prepared it long enough and upon reading Margaret Atwood's Edible Woman I got the final spark, I guess. That's nice... I just hope I'll remember the fevor once all this is over....