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Oct. 7th, 2000 04:50 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
silversolitaireA smart thing every day.
I think that's important. To live a happy life. To be understood. To leave something behind. Say a smart thing every day, for someone to hear. I think that's what this journal is good for. I used to look for friends so desperately sometimes. A new stimulating acquaintance whom you can tell your thoughts and experiences and get their views in exchange. And then I used to get so sad when there was no one around to listen to me. Of course one could write it all in a journal, but... I don't know about you, but I personally just never saw the necessity to do such a thing. Why write it down when nobody wants to see it? E-mail were a good idea, but then you once again depend on others. I must have saved thousands of online discussions on my hard drive, just because of the things I've written. Like the diary I never keep. I used to have a friend, a good friend who no longer talks to me because of some stupid fight, who always write his experiences down in an online journal. I never understood that. I thought: How stupid! How can you share such things with others? He then always used to tell me that this is the only reason a person keeps a diary. To have people understand him, should he be no longer around to tell. I didn't understand this then. But now I do. I used to be so secretive about myself.
These days are over now. I know I've got a beautiful heart, so why not let it out? So I'll try to do it... a smart thing every day.
I think that's important. To live a happy life. To be understood. To leave something behind. Say a smart thing every day, for someone to hear. I think that's what this journal is good for. I used to look for friends so desperately sometimes. A new stimulating acquaintance whom you can tell your thoughts and experiences and get their views in exchange. And then I used to get so sad when there was no one around to listen to me. Of course one could write it all in a journal, but... I don't know about you, but I personally just never saw the necessity to do such a thing. Why write it down when nobody wants to see it? E-mail were a good idea, but then you once again depend on others. I must have saved thousands of online discussions on my hard drive, just because of the things I've written. Like the diary I never keep. I used to have a friend, a good friend who no longer talks to me because of some stupid fight, who always write his experiences down in an online journal. I never understood that. I thought: How stupid! How can you share such things with others? He then always used to tell me that this is the only reason a person keeps a diary. To have people understand him, should he be no longer around to tell. I didn't understand this then. But now I do. I used to be so secretive about myself.
These days are over now. I know I've got a beautiful heart, so why not let it out? So I'll try to do it... a smart thing every day.
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Heart and Journal
Date: 2000-10-07 06:02 pm (UTC)to me, it's a matter of sensitivity. Some days you wake up and you feel *everything* the air on your skin, the light on your skin. Everything seems to move slower because you're so aware of the world.
My paper journal seems to serve another function. I tell here things I want to tell the world, but no one listened before.
We have beautiful hearts- what a way to say it-
Re: Heart and Journal
Date: 2000-10-08 06:45 am (UTC)And it's true. It wasn't until now that I really realized that there are kindred souls out there. I mean, you do get to meet others in chats and through emails and you occasionally exchange your ideas, but there are things you just don't talk about. That others don't want to hear.
I know how many times I've tried to talk to someone about my self-injury, but was rejected so many times. Now I don't talk to anybody. I just talk into the room and people either listen or don't. And it's surprising that some actually do listen. And it's so precious every single time... ^_^