Someone explain my feelings to me...
Jun. 16th, 2001 02:32 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
silversolitaire10 mins. ago the world was great, I was so happy, sated after a long session of rping and full of ideas. And now I feel sad and depressed... It's like two mildly depressing things just got together and now I'm endlessly sad. I just saw Meimi's comment on some girl she knew who died and I checked out said girl's LJ out of mere curiosity. And I got so terribly sad at the thought of her being dead. I don't know her at all and here I am, crying as if my best friend had died. But the last entry just touched me. How terrible... to write in your journal, like you always do, maybe a bit depressed, but full of ideas about your life and then, three days later, you're dead! It's not fair! Someone who used smilies and was happy at times and sad at others, just dead...
And then I checked my other Friends entries and saw a comment kat made on our rp. And whereas I'm sure she didn't mean it that way, I feel so bad now. She thought some scene we rped was funny. I asked Cam about it and she said it was a little rushed. Now I feel so bad, because I really liked that scene. I liked it a lot, even. I thought it showed so well how Vince has no power over his own life and how some higher for could demonstrate its existence. I like that, the emotions and everything. I just like it when people almost die and are saved. Always did. And now... now I just hate it and never want to look at again. I feel so silly for liking it, for *writing* it... I've just screwed up...
And then I checked my other Friends entries and saw a comment kat made on our rp. And whereas I'm sure she didn't mean it that way, I feel so bad now. She thought some scene we rped was funny. I asked Cam about it and she said it was a little rushed. Now I feel so bad, because I really liked that scene. I liked it a lot, even. I thought it showed so well how Vince has no power over his own life and how some higher for could demonstrate its existence. I like that, the emotions and everything. I just like it when people almost die and are saved. Always did. And now... now I just hate it and never want to look at again. I feel so silly for liking it, for *writing* it... I've just screwed up...
Hugs
Date: 2001-06-15 06:21 pm (UTC)Oh, and I read this little scene you talked about. Well, it is very short and I don't know the context, but I don't think you should hate it! *hugs Silver*