Nobody understands...

[silversolitaire]

...this terrible feeling. So dark and tormenting. When it comes up your throat, like vomit, bitter and corrosive, in dark gushes, all over your body. It's a sickness that won't wane. You feel okay for a moment and then something makes you sick again and it comes all up again and you puke your soul out on the floor and it mingles with your tears and blood and people turn away from you, disgusted and disappointed, because they can't bear the sight. And you end up in a puddle of your own pain and it slowly dissolves your skin, your flesh, but not your heart. That stays and hurts and beats in your chest, so loud that you can't hear your own thoughts and you want to cry out in pain, but something is pressing down on your throat and pushes you back into the thick, sticky slime and you're sinking down... slowly... no longer a part of yourself... but not dead either....