Feeling apocalyptical again...

[silversolitaire]

What to do? Destroy something, someone, myself?

You will never understand the emptiness inside of me. No knife cuts deep enough to cause the secret pain... When there is no craving for pain, what is left then, I ask you? When you can't hurt, what can you do then? What happens to a body that stopped feeling, that's too small for the mind trapped inside of it. Skin, that's too tight. Eyes that burn into it, scorch it and destroy the sanctity of your loneliness...

What then? What then?

I will translate the new Rammstein songs now. Maybe this helps.

Good bye to all that.

Comments

my heart is breaking for you

[nortylak.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure what it was that made me start reading this, but I did, and I hurt right now, so I felt as though I should say something.

I'm crying right now after reading that because I honestly never believed that anyone else had ever felt as empty as I have in my life. I remember what it's like when pain feels better than reality. And I remember when even the pain felt like nothing at all compared to what was in my head and my heart. To this day I'm dead inside. And I'm so sorry that you have to live like that, feel like that. No one should feel like that and yet so many of us do.

Sometimes, I go back to that place and I can stare at my arm for hours, thinking about how just one little cut could make things better again. But I know, deep inside, that one cut could never be enough.

I need to go and write some poetry now, get this feeling out of me. Thanks for sharing, I feel much less alone. :-)