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I was standing outside in the garden for a bit, looking at the stars, when I suddenly heard a really creepy laugh. It was like an insane cackle or something. I was a bit confused first, and then it could be heard again, this time a little louder. I got kinda freaked out and chose to go back inside. That was really freaky...
Jun. 21st, 2003
Tales of a Fucked Up Brother
Jun. 21st, 2003 02:31 pmSo, last night my bro and I had a fight. As usual. We fought about the TV program. I wanted to watch Wrestling, he insisted on keeping on his program that he wasn't even watching. So I sort of assumed we could switch the channel which he flat out refused. I then complained that he doesn't own the TV or the remote just because he clutches it all the time. We bickered around for a bit and then he just switched to some random channel, just to annoy me. And he did a good job of it, too. I yelled at him to stop being such a prick. He called me a stupid cow (his favorite insult for me) and threw the remote at me, again as usual. I reassembled it and switched to Wrestling. He cussed me out, I cussed back. He yelled "Then do your shit alone!" and I yelled "I'd love to if you fucking stayed out of me life." He made one of those sudden movements that made me fear he might either throw his laptop or hit me. Then he jumped at the TV and switched it off. I yelled at him again and switched it back on, then continued to watch Wrestling. Oh, in between he cussed me out for being so engrossed in my computer that I never pay attention to the TV anyway (which is true when I'm not interested in the program, i.e. 90% of the times when he's watching and since he's always got that thing switched on 24/7 that's quite some time and I just happen to sit here even though I don't pay attention to the TV, so that really shouldn't count). Anyway, I yelled back this isn't true yadda-yadda-yadda.
As soon as he shut down his computer he did me the favor or pissing off. So I could watch Wrestling in peace. But I was still upset and annoyed, because I just hate fighting with him. However, I must point out that we still were very civil about it! We had had much worse fights before where he actually hit me or where he really destroyed things. So, I thought I was doing better, since I realized that I need to stop being so bitchy in order to maybe make him not lose it so quickly. Didn't work though. He just has zero self-control. He's a highly apathetic person, he never reacts to anything, you must know. You can yell at him for hours and he'll just not react at all. Or you want to talk to him seriously and he'll just stare blankly at the TV and not answer. Extremely annoying. I'm someone who needs to raise hell for 5 mins and then be fine again. So, we're a match made in hell. Anyway, I thought this fight had been a semi-success.
HOWEVER! When I went to bed around 3 and I had just finished washing and brushing my teeth, I wanted to apply all my creams and lotions that I need because of my extremely dry skin and all. So I have a beauty-products fetish, sue me. Anyway, I opened the night lotion tub and was surprised to find that it was JAMMED shut. It was screwed down with such brutal force that I could barely open it. That puzzled me. I thought maybe it was pressure built up from some temperature difference or something. Then I tried to open my day lotion and it was the same thing! Then I saw that my Neutrogena Visible Refined tube was twisted around, showing clearing the imprints of a hand grabbing it tightly to screw it shut brutally. My eye cream was also jammed and the pointy tip was bent. I think now it's pretty obvious that someone had been messing with my stuff. And it's also pretty obvious who it was. And THEN I saw that the door to my room was wide open. The cat was lying on a pile of clothes. I was suspicious, but not yet suspecting. When I prepared for the night later on I noticed that my hand lotion was also twisted and bent! So, he did not only destroy my stuff in the bathroom, no! He also had the cheek to go INTO my room and mess with my stuff there!
That really topped it off for me. I went downstairs and wrote him a letter which I placed open for everyone to see. I wrote:
"My dear brother,
if you think I do not notice your infantile behavior, then apparently you have measured me at your example. But I must disappoint you, I am not that stupid. Since you destroyed a good deal of my creams by jamming them shut you will have to pay for them now. Perhaps you then learn to behave like an adule.
Then I went to bed and tried to sleep, but I guess I was just too upset and annoyed to really have a good night sleep. So I didn't sleep particularily good, which just adds to my frustration since I had placed a midsommar bouquet under my pillow. I got up around 11 and realized my bro was still in bed, so my letter had been unread. Never mind, I left it there and sat with my mother. Still feeling annoyed I told her about it, but of course, in her usual habit, she told me I shouldn't behave like a child! Excuse me? I think I have a very valid point here, and even though the creams weren't totally destroyed I don't see why I should put up with this and why I should now be forced to hide all my things to protect them from his destruction! Even though I don't use the Neutrogena stuff anymore I'll insist on him paying it, just for the hell of it, so he fucking learns to take responsibility for his behavior! I'm sick and tired of keeping silent! Of course Mom didn't really understand it.
So it was clear I had to wait for dad. When he got home I told him, too. I felt bad for telling since it just seemed like I was a traitor, but I've kept silent about so many things and now it's just enough. He was a bit shocked and said we should be glad he didn't hit me as well. I didn't tell him that he had before. However, Dad said that I should sort it out with my brother since it's between us two. I made it known to him that it's quite useless because bro just doesn't listen to me. To him I'm just the stupid bitch who only nags around. I said I will talk to him but I expect him to talk to my brother, too.
When bro got up I said to him quite calmly "I hope you have some money left because you're going to pay for all the things you destroyed." Of course he furiously denied it. Interesting enough, he denied it before I had even mentioned that things had been destroyed. When I mentioned the hand lotion from my room he made a big deal out of that he didn't do anything in my room, but he didn't deny the bathroom stuff. So I'm willing to ignore the bedroom things, even though I still think it was him. But I'm giving him the benefit of doubt. Maybe I bent it when closing the drawer. That's possible. But the things in the bathroom still remained. In his usual habit my bro ignored most of what I said and left for his duty.
I realized that it will never end. So I decided to talk to my father in all seriousness. I told him everything. EVERYthing. I told him how much my brother worries me, how violently he reacts, how he can't control his anger, how he is totally engrossed in his porn and that he doesn't do anything else but watching porn, porn and more porn. I told him about the violent videos I saw him watch, and all the illegal activities. I told him that I think my brother needs help, that he needs therapy. That we can't go on ignore what he does. I could tell that Dad felt really uncomfortable about it. He said he can't do anything about it. I said he has to! That we have to stop this before it gets out of hand. After a while he promised me to talk to him. He said he wouldn't start a trail against my brother though and I said that I didn't expect him to. I just want him to SEE what's going on. And stop ignoring it. I also pointed out that I don't want to look like I'm trying to squeal on my brother. I just need to speak out at last. I've kept silent for so long because I wanted to be loyal to my brother. But this has to stop NOW or he'll turn into a mass murderer one day. I'm quite serious.
Now I'm feeling bad. Bad for telling all this, bad for having broken my loyalty. And I also feel bad about my destroyed things and I know I probably won't have the guts to stick through it and demand compensation. I will probably just let it pass... but he NEEDS to learn! What will be next? Will he pour coke into my computer? This has to stop... it just has to stop...
As soon as he shut down his computer he did me the favor or pissing off. So I could watch Wrestling in peace. But I was still upset and annoyed, because I just hate fighting with him. However, I must point out that we still were very civil about it! We had had much worse fights before where he actually hit me or where he really destroyed things. So, I thought I was doing better, since I realized that I need to stop being so bitchy in order to maybe make him not lose it so quickly. Didn't work though. He just has zero self-control. He's a highly apathetic person, he never reacts to anything, you must know. You can yell at him for hours and he'll just not react at all. Or you want to talk to him seriously and he'll just stare blankly at the TV and not answer. Extremely annoying. I'm someone who needs to raise hell for 5 mins and then be fine again. So, we're a match made in hell. Anyway, I thought this fight had been a semi-success.
HOWEVER! When I went to bed around 3 and I had just finished washing and brushing my teeth, I wanted to apply all my creams and lotions that I need because of my extremely dry skin and all. So I have a beauty-products fetish, sue me. Anyway, I opened the night lotion tub and was surprised to find that it was JAMMED shut. It was screwed down with such brutal force that I could barely open it. That puzzled me. I thought maybe it was pressure built up from some temperature difference or something. Then I tried to open my day lotion and it was the same thing! Then I saw that my Neutrogena Visible Refined tube was twisted around, showing clearing the imprints of a hand grabbing it tightly to screw it shut brutally. My eye cream was also jammed and the pointy tip was bent. I think now it's pretty obvious that someone had been messing with my stuff. And it's also pretty obvious who it was. And THEN I saw that the door to my room was wide open. The cat was lying on a pile of clothes. I was suspicious, but not yet suspecting. When I prepared for the night later on I noticed that my hand lotion was also twisted and bent! So, he did not only destroy my stuff in the bathroom, no! He also had the cheek to go INTO my room and mess with my stuff there!
That really topped it off for me. I went downstairs and wrote him a letter which I placed open for everyone to see. I wrote:
"My dear brother,
if you think I do not notice your infantile behavior, then apparently you have measured me at your example. But I must disappoint you, I am not that stupid. Since you destroyed a good deal of my creams by jamming them shut you will have to pay for them now. Perhaps you then learn to behave like an adule.
Sincerely, me (24 years old)."
Then I went to bed and tried to sleep, but I guess I was just too upset and annoyed to really have a good night sleep. So I didn't sleep particularily good, which just adds to my frustration since I had placed a midsommar bouquet under my pillow. I got up around 11 and realized my bro was still in bed, so my letter had been unread. Never mind, I left it there and sat with my mother. Still feeling annoyed I told her about it, but of course, in her usual habit, she told me I shouldn't behave like a child! Excuse me? I think I have a very valid point here, and even though the creams weren't totally destroyed I don't see why I should put up with this and why I should now be forced to hide all my things to protect them from his destruction! Even though I don't use the Neutrogena stuff anymore I'll insist on him paying it, just for the hell of it, so he fucking learns to take responsibility for his behavior! I'm sick and tired of keeping silent! Of course Mom didn't really understand it.
So it was clear I had to wait for dad. When he got home I told him, too. I felt bad for telling since it just seemed like I was a traitor, but I've kept silent about so many things and now it's just enough. He was a bit shocked and said we should be glad he didn't hit me as well. I didn't tell him that he had before. However, Dad said that I should sort it out with my brother since it's between us two. I made it known to him that it's quite useless because bro just doesn't listen to me. To him I'm just the stupid bitch who only nags around. I said I will talk to him but I expect him to talk to my brother, too.
When bro got up I said to him quite calmly "I hope you have some money left because you're going to pay for all the things you destroyed." Of course he furiously denied it. Interesting enough, he denied it before I had even mentioned that things had been destroyed. When I mentioned the hand lotion from my room he made a big deal out of that he didn't do anything in my room, but he didn't deny the bathroom stuff. So I'm willing to ignore the bedroom things, even though I still think it was him. But I'm giving him the benefit of doubt. Maybe I bent it when closing the drawer. That's possible. But the things in the bathroom still remained. In his usual habit my bro ignored most of what I said and left for his duty.
I realized that it will never end. So I decided to talk to my father in all seriousness. I told him everything. EVERYthing. I told him how much my brother worries me, how violently he reacts, how he can't control his anger, how he is totally engrossed in his porn and that he doesn't do anything else but watching porn, porn and more porn. I told him about the violent videos I saw him watch, and all the illegal activities. I told him that I think my brother needs help, that he needs therapy. That we can't go on ignore what he does. I could tell that Dad felt really uncomfortable about it. He said he can't do anything about it. I said he has to! That we have to stop this before it gets out of hand. After a while he promised me to talk to him. He said he wouldn't start a trail against my brother though and I said that I didn't expect him to. I just want him to SEE what's going on. And stop ignoring it. I also pointed out that I don't want to look like I'm trying to squeal on my brother. I just need to speak out at last. I've kept silent for so long because I wanted to be loyal to my brother. But this has to stop NOW or he'll turn into a mass murderer one day. I'm quite serious.
Now I'm feeling bad. Bad for telling all this, bad for having broken my loyalty. And I also feel bad about my destroyed things and I know I probably won't have the guts to stick through it and demand compensation. I will probably just let it pass... but he NEEDS to learn! What will be next? Will he pour coke into my computer? This has to stop... it just has to stop...
(no subject)
Jun. 21st, 2003 07:33 pmOkay. Car was taken to the car wash and made all clean. The car wash guy then pointed out that my car is all bleached and ugly which made me want to go T_T. He then said he'd give me some nice polish cleanser, if I didn't have any. And I didn't so he gave it to me for free o.o. That was quite astonishing. My parents and I then spent all afternoon polishing and waxing my car (when I should be reading Harry Potter dammit!!!!!!). Well, my car looks shiney and new now, but I got a bad case of lumbago in the process ;_;. I'm tired now and in massive need for test, but my parents want to go out again and watch the fireworks in Legoland. Urgh... so I have to leave again. Oh, and I made puffy pastries with peaches, strawberries and chocolate and with vanilla pudding. Hope they'll be nice o.o. But I'm tired now... *whines*
Oh, don't mind me... *falls asleep*... OH! I know now! I'll take the book with me! *dances* Then I can read! Wahoo! ^_^
*falls asleep again*
Oh, don't mind me... *falls asleep*... OH! I know now! I'll take the book with me! *dances* Then I can read! Wahoo! ^_^
*falls asleep again*
