(no subject)

He's dead... It's so unreal... I can't believe it. It feels like some parallel universe... and I don't want to tell anyone because it feels like it's just some mean joke someone did to me... and he'll be back, laughing at me, hugging me... This can't be real... he wasn't supposed to die... Why did he die...? I don't understand it... it hurts so much... and I always forget he's dead. And then I remember... and it hurts so much... so so much...

Why... why why why...

I miss him....