From "Clerks - TAS" Episode 2

[silversolitaire]

Leonardo: I want to offer you a job, working here... for me. I want you lock, stock and barrel.
Randal: Is this some sort of gay thing?
Leornard: No!
Randal: You suuuuuure?
Leonardo: *beat* ... Yeeeees....

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Jay: You guys remember that?
Dante: Yes! You just did it!
Jay: Huh yeah. Deja friggin' vue!

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Dante: Randal, how would you like if we talk about your love life?
Randal: You always have to bring this up?
Dante: You ordered an Asian mail-order bride!
Jay: He did?!?
Dante: Well, it turns out Randal filled out the form wrong. Instead of ordering the mail-order bride---
Randal I got a mail-order husband...
Jay: Eeeew! You were married to a dude??
Randal: Actually, it wasn't so bad...

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Randal: Which is why we almost become priest, remember?
[flashback]
Cardinal: Do you, Novitiates Hicks and Graves, before God and His church, now voluntarily take the solemn vows of obedience, poverty and chastity.
Randal and Dante: We do!
Cardinal: Then by the power invested to me by the state of New Jersey I now pronounce you man and wife.
Randal and Dante: What?!?
[end flashback]
Randal: I can't believe I married two guys in one year!

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Dante: It's official: God is mocking us.

*chuckle*