OMG!

[silversolitaire]

I just saw the worst movie ever!

Witchouse! (yes, that's how it's spelled)

Seven teenagers get stuck in an old mansion and suddenly find themselves facing a nightmare in the form of a random witch who just so happens to be the ancestor of one of the teens. Clichée girl #1, thus dubbed Gothic teen, realizes her 300 year old pledge for revenge. Insert Horror Plot (TM).

[spoilers follow... like you care]

Further clichée teens include: Brainy Girl (who gets one close-up at the end which reveals her to be drop-dead gorgeous actually), Sexy Girl (who gives a bunch of perky comments and is so tough, like... you know), aforementioned Gothic Girl, Sexy Stud #1 and #2, one of which dates Sexy Girl and Brainy Guy (of course he doesn't date Brainy Guy! Now that would have been too nice...). *counts* I missed one. Oh never mind!

So, Gothic Teen finds out she's the decendant of some witch (Lilith, complete with crappy make-up that puts the Buffy vampires to shame and some sort of pseudo scary distorted voice that reminds you of Kermit on crack) who suddenly rises from the dead, starts killing most of the kids who then randomly turn into ghoulish creatures when they were all fine just two minutes ago. Sexy Stud #2 (or was it #1? Who cares!) gets the gory special effect, ooooooh, by having his head ripped off in a fashion that makes his neck look like this: I^^^^I. They must have been out of fake blood though since even though Brainy Girl was "bleeding like a pig" there wasn't even a stain on her jacket.

All but the Brainy Teens turn into ghouls or have their heads ripped off, when Brainy Guy suddenly realizes the whole story, faces the witch with his sudden knowledge ("I shall burn this book and then you can't take over the world like you planned all along!!") and defeats the witch by putting electric wires into her body, making her (and the ghouls) go POIGHT!!! Then Gothic Girll comes in, pledges everlasting revenge which is immediately prevented by Brainy Girl who steps out from behind the Brainy Guy, announces she's the decendant of the baby that was supposed to be sacrificed 300 years ago ("Do you remember..?") and kills Gothic Girl with some pendant she produced out of nowhere. Brainy Girl and Guy embrace ("Shut up and kiss me!"). The End.

Brain damage after only 65 mins.: severe. Good thing it wasn't the standard 90 mins.

I think having my wisdom teeth removed hurt less. This story makes no sense whatsoever. It's not even funny to watch, it's just painfully bad. Don't waste your time. Watch the news instead, that's scarier!

Comments

[starla9.livejournal.com]

Kermit on crack...and all that. Sweet heavens, you poor thing. *hugs and tries to revive your brain*

[pokebelle.livejournal.com]

Jeebus, but that does sound bad.

And, um... just out of curiosity and the fact that I'm going to have a wisdom tooth removed, uh... how painful *was* it?

But boy did that movie sound BAD.

[silversolitaire.livejournal.com]

[attention, detail description of wisdom teeth removal follows!]

Well, the actual removal doesn't really hurt, since you get anaethetics and all. The most uncomfortable part of that is when the dentist gives you this shot that goes far deep into your jaw. That kinda hurts, but then it's over and you're blissfully numb. What you then will feel is the doc rummaging around in your mouth, scraping and pulling. That's kinda icky, but not really painful. You'll probably be surprised when you later sit up and see there's blood all over. To me it felt like he was just scaping against the teeth! ^_^;;;

Depending on how much the dentist had to pull and abuse your jaw, the more it will hurt afterwards. The lower jaw usually is a candidate for that because it's made from really tough bones. That's why it is important to cool your cheeks sufficiently after the removal. Don't slack with that, you can really avoid a good deal of the swelling. But don't damage your tissue by freezing it! Best wrap an icebag up in towel.

Now you'll probably feel weird, but not really bad. Cool it, even though you don't really feel anything yet! A few hours after that the anethetics will start to wear off (you can slowly stop cooling then, but if it makes you feel better, keep doing it!). Your mouth and lips with prickle and feel weird. And then it slowly starts to hurt. It's a numb, pulling pain. It will be like that for a couple of days and your face will swell in a weird way and you'll probably be black and blue. Eating will hurt, especially opening your mouth because it pulls at the seams. After a few days, this will pass and if there are no complications with the seams, you'll be fine a week after, roughly. ^.^

That's really all there is to it. It's not a walk in the park and when you already feel queasy about dentists and people messing around in your mouth then you'll probably feel awful while you're lying on that chair, but it's really not that terrible. Root canals are worse, usually.

Re:

[pokebelle.livejournal.com]

Well, that sounds like nothing I can't handle. Seems weird to be putting ice on it, though, when I was sitting all night with a cup of warm water in a dishcloth against my cheek to keep the toothache away, but hey, I'm all for SLIGHT pain :P

And the only thing I really dread about dentists is the sentence "oh, would you look at that...?" Scares me crapless, let me tell you. But getting rid of this wisdom tooth (it does have a MASSIVE hole in it, mind you) is such a good idea. And hopefully we will bid farewell to it on Thursday, after my second root canal is finished, done, through with.

You know, the root canals weren't really painful to me. But perhaps that's just 'cause he gave me REALLY good painkillers ^^; <==afraid of turning into a painkiller junkie on account of how many she took today.

Today was a baaaaaad day...

But thanks ^_^ You helped. I won't dread it; I just hope we've got icecubes and soup I can drink through a straw for when Thursday comes!

[no-ron.livejournal.com]

ROTF!!!
now, this review is priceless! you should post it on imdb, or something. hehehe.
makes me wanna see that movie just for the heck of it.
hahaha!!

[silversolitaire.livejournal.com]

*giggles* Glad you enjoyed this. I submitted the first half to imdb yesterday. Then I figured that I need to say more and posted the rest of my 2 cents here. ^_^;; Too bad, would have been funny, but then again, I don't want to post spoilers to imdb and get banned or something... LOL.

[no-ron.livejournal.com]

so i bet next weekend you're renting 'Witchouse 2: Blood Coven'. and then you can spoil yourself with 'Witchouse 3: Demon Fire' still. *g*
nyehe..

[silversolitaire.livejournal.com]

*looks at IMDB, stares... SCREAMS!!!!!!*

OMG!!! They really exist!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

*runs away, screaming, pulling her hair out*

[no-ron.livejournal.com]

but now there's no turning back..!


hehehe.

*laughs*

[rukiyo.livejournal.com]

That was sooooo amusing! At least the movie generated a very good review. *grin*