silversolitaire | Thoughts on depression

There's something I realized about my form of depression. When I'm depressed, I care too much. I react differently on things that I normally wouldn't give a toss about. I find comments hurtful that I'd usually just brush off, things like finding something that I just bought cheaper somewhere else makes me cry, people's mere presence can make me really, really angry. It's weird... And I seem to have no way of controlling it. Sometimes it's scary.

And I always get very clingy. Yesterday, I wanted to hug someone all day. Anyone! I was missing it so much. I took a bath and hugged myself because I didn't know whom else to hug. Later I gave my dad a very short hug. But I still don't feel overtly affectionate towards him... I wish things weren't the way they are... ah well. And I wish I wasn't the person I am. I never wanted to be like that...