Right...

That's about all I'm thinking right now. I woke up early today. Well, if you consider 9 AM early. I was supposed to sleep in, but somehow I was done at 9 AM. Aw well... I'm feeling a bit lonely right now. Uncertain, too. I don't like this feeling. I want to do something useful and yet I don't know what this could be.

I've got a couple of things to do today which I mustn't forget. Thing is, I already forgot one. I think it was three things I was supposed to think about, but I can only remember two. Hm... one was programming the VCR for Digimon 02 this afternoon, since I won't be there. Second was printing out my paper of Milton's Areopagitica. Done that already. What else...? No clue.

I can't read my book anymore. Now that I know about the terrible end, I fear it. I know it will make me depressed, it already did. How can I abide that? I could only try to time it right, so that it hits while I'm at my parents' over the weekend. Then I could get some comfort. But on the other hand, I couldn't cry there. What to do now... be lonely and tortured, but able to cry, or have someone to take your mind of it, but no crying?

Decisions...

I'm eating cornflakes again. Without anything. I don't like putting sugar on it. Just plain cornflakes. I wonder what's gotten into me. I bought a 1kg box! I'll never eat that! But I just wanted to. I just buy stupid stuff I don't need. But cornflakes are good. They can be eaten quickly and you can drink the same time and don't even have to look. That's good...

I'll also be depressed whe Digimon 02 is over. It was really fun... T_T When it's over I might lose my inspiration to draw fanart about it... this sucks.

The Mummy Returns still takes another week.

I haven't done my homework for Translation.

I'm still craving for Wufei/Trowa.

What a crappy day....

2nd session today...

And as always, I don't know what to think. I don't really want to discuss the things she said. But it was helpful. I've realized quite a few things. One is, I will not tolerate rejection anymore. People who reject me will leave my life immediately. They only make me sad and I have enough sadness in me already that I don't need more of that. I need to cut quite a few cords... but I guess this has to be. I will be lonely, but this loneliness might help me out of this.

I get the feeling I have to get out of this on my own. It's no use...

I'm feeling a bit like a liar now...

All those things I told the counselor, just to make her stop asking me questions... I acted as if I understood what she's been trying to say, as if I saw her point. And in a way I did, but it didn't last longer than it took me to take the elevator down to the first floor. Right now I'm feeling like crap again. Life sucks. In general. Without exception.

Ah well, brighten up! Smile smile smile! I will take a shower now, pop another aspirin (stupid headache, maybe I've got a tumor?) and then watch the Digimon 02 episode I recorded. Maybe I'll draw a bit. Yes, this sounds nice. And then I'll hang around on ICQ, waiting for kat to show up! I hope she does!!! Need Wufei/Trowa now! Where are those kinky thoughts, baby?

Oh wow... I'm bleeding...

...and I don't know where it's coming from, I didn't do anything... too weird... now I want to see more of it. I'll just keep bleeding for a bit...

Nobody understands why bleeding is so wonderful, so powerful... I heard Gore Vidal talk about it, how he almost bled to death last year and how much he wanted it to happen and how peaceful it was... it's true...

RP!!!!

I like this part of kat's and mine RP a lot:

Zechs gently touched the other man's chest, feeling the hard muscles under the black T-shirt. Unlike Treize who had a very athletic body that promised lithe and graceful movements, Wufei's was pure strength, yet hidden in a small body. It was a sense of danger around him that he found appealing. He could tell why Treize wanted him.

Zechs toyed with the idea of seducing Wufei right away, but thought that it would probably be weird for Treize to come home and find his two lovers in a passionate embrace. Yet he couldn't keep himself from teasing Wufei a bit more, hoping to see more of this cute blush. He let his fingers run over Wufei's hard stomach, playfully dipping into his navel. "What do you like to do..." he purred sexily.

"Swordfight." Wufei replied hastily, in a higher voice than normal. His dark cheeks had taken on an even darker blush, and his eyes were closed. Carefully, he placed his hand over Zechs' on his stomach and simply held it there. "What do you like to do?" he asked softly in return, his voice sounding almost normal, if slightly pleased. He shared the same inhibition Zechs does, what would Treize think to walk in on them together? Or worse, what if someone else walked in?

"I like... playing chess." He smiled, pressing his nose into the soft skin at Wufei's neck. Ignoring the other one's hand, he kept moving his hand over the warm stomach, enjoying how the T-shirt slipped over the smooth skin. "But that's not what I meant," he continued huskily. "What do you like doing in bed?" he stuck out his tongue and let it run over Wufei's neck, nuzzling the spot behind his ear.

Wufei gasped and closed his eyes tightly. "I-i.. Like to.. T-to... um.." his hand left Zechs', and carefully moved over Zechs' chest. Fingertips traced the soft skin, carefully avoiding bruises. He finally gave a gently little pinch at one of Zechs' nipples, then moved his hand away. "f-foreplay," he whispered. "I l-like it. And yo-ou?"

Zechs sighed happily when he felt Wufei's cool fingers on his chest. "Yes... foreplay is nice. I like tasting the other guy's body." He gently wandered down with his mouth, licking over Wufei's collar bone. "I like giving head." He laughed softly when he heard Wufei gasp. "Hm, your body tastes wonderful... I want to lick every inch of it..."

YEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIHHHH!

ROLEPLAY!!!! kat is here, kat is here, kat is here!!!

TROWA/WUFEI!!!!!!!