silversolitaire: (JB mirror)
There's one thing that's very weird about me. Well, more than one thing, but I'm thinking about one in particular right now. It's the fact that I get extremely, hugely excited over things, looking forward for them for days, weeks, months, and then when it's finally there I savor it and soak it up and am totally happy... and then it just goes poof. I hate that very much. The height from which I plummet every fucking time something is nice. Just once I wish I could ride on the high just a little bit longer.

Naturally, I was hugely excited about Torchwood. I mean, I've been waiting for this moment for an entire year, basically. And I was full of hope and dreams, I had confidence in it being awesome. I didn't fear they'd sink my ship. I didn't fear canon would start sucking. I was just looking forward to it. Then the episode aired yesterday and I couldn't watch it right away of course since I'd made the deal to watch it with Kris. I agonized all night over it, hardly getting any sleep.

Then finally, in the evening, I got to watch it. And it was awesome! It was... let's say a 8 out of 10, at least. It probably would have been a 9 if we had gotten some Jack/Ianto snogging right away and a 10 if they had dealt with Jack's return properly and a bit more emotionally other than Gwen bitching him out. But it was fine, really! I was squeey and happy and excited... and then it just evaporated :(.

Now I'm sitting here, feeling empty. This sucks. I should be all happy, shouldn't I. The series isn't even over yet. Still tons of eps to look forward to. And yet... blankness. Also, I find myself get annoyed with everyone in a way. See, I'm a tolerant shipper. Or no, I'm not, but it's something TW has taught me, really. You can ship anyone, they're all possible in a way, and no ship is worth more than the other. I've learnt to tolerate that. Other ships are no threat for mine and it's nice to see them coexist.

However, I notice this annoying tendency of TW ships putting down other ships. I guess it's because Jack/Ianto is relatively popular it gets the brunt of that, but it annoys me. People going to great lengths to explain why Ianto is so horrible and why he should never have remained on the team, how Jack can't possibly care for Ianto and it's obviously just sex, if at all, since it's not really all that clear blablabla. Heard all the shit. And now? Now they're all putting down the "ask for date" scene of course.

Clearly, since the scene was followed that Jack/Gwen scene it must be that Jack is only rebounding! Right? Grrrrr! It annoys the hell out of me. I'm willing to accept that the scene was very J/G shippy and I don't mind. I never want TW to become the Jack/Ianto Loveboat where they live happily ever after. I'd probably lose interest in no time since I hardly ever ship the canon m/m couples for some weird reason. So I'm cool with it. You can interpret it any way you like.

Even though I will admit that I thought it was a bit OOC for Jack to suddenly throw a hissyfit at Gwen's engagement ring. I mean, in series 1 we've always been shown how Jack thought it was important that Gwen remains in her relationship with Rhys, have a life outside of TW etc. So why would he suddenly mind? And what the fuck was that with "Cause no one else will have me"?? Gwen isn't that bad a catch! So, I do have my qualms with it... BUT! I accept that Jack cares deeply for Gwen. No problems there!

So why oh why do people need to spin this in such a direction? Can't we just coexist happily next to each other please? *sighs* So yeah, that frustrated me. Annoyed me. Did anyone say "Oh yeah, clearly Jack was so shaken during the ring scene because he'd just seen Ianto earlier and remembered how it was to be separated from him!" or stuff like that? No! Very annoying.

Okay, but that's just a detail. An annoying one, but still. One thing that comes with age is the tranquility to just step way from fandom crap like that (although I do feel the need to choke a couple of bitches on the JB-ML occasionally).

Another thing that pissed me off were people discussing on another ML whether one should read fics by non-native speakers. The way they were talking about it made it sound like those people write poorly per default. Funny, the most atrocious fics I've read were written by native speakers, but wha'ever. Annoying people.

Okay, I think I've just ranted myself empty. Now only the pain remains in just about every limb I own. And there's really nothing I can do since I shouldn't overdo it on the medication. So, I just need to suck it, I suppose. Blah.

I'm also feeling extremely guilty for not having all of Collateral all perfectly ready by now. I really tried, but the illness in between just really didn't help and now I feel like a traitor and a loser, making everyone hate me and lose all faith in WIPs forever. I know I'm dramatizing here, but I can't help it. And at the same time, I'm trying so hard and yet I just can't manage that amazing leap of sudden story finishing, you know? Very frustrating. I just hope people won't be too upset with me. I'm really trying.

Of course it didn't help either that I was watching TW and basically went D:!!!! the entire time since one by one things I've put into my fic popped up there. I mean of course I was there first and this is exactly why I made it a point to post before it airs because I know myself. Right now, I'm feeling utterly demoralized and uncreative. Like I can't come up with a single creative idea of my own apparently. I'm spending months agonizing over plot ideas and twists and then it becomes canon within 45 mins. So frustrating...

Oh, the pain...

Ending on a completely different note... today at the kiosk the person restocking the shelves had sorted all the candy by rainbow. That made my heart laugh a little bit...
silversolitaire: (d'oh!)
I think by now everyone's agreed that the episode pretty much sucked. I don't even feel the urge to rewatch it because it was just a messy load of copycat themes borrowed from all over the place. And I can't help but feel embarrassed au lieu John Barrowman for banging the drum so much beforehand, saying a gasp will go through Britain at the final revelation and it will be so shocking and OMG! I think that gasp probably rather was one of "... WTF?!?"

spoilers, I guess )
silversolitaire: (emo-batman)
I'm currently researching House-fandom history and was wondering about what the most influential fics of the fandom are. Since that is impossible to figure out all by myself, I'm asking for your help in the matter. I would like to ask you to nominate up to 10 fics per pairing that you found the most influential in the House fandom. You can pick less, too, of course. Once I've compiled the lists, I'm going to figure out a top list of nominated fics and then probably ask to vote again. Or if that's conclusive already take that as a result and let you know about it.

So, I'd like to ask you to take a moment to nominate fics that you consider the most influential to the fandom. Nominate them in no particular, simply as they come to mind. If your super favorite pairing is missing, it's probably because it's not that mainstream and I'm trying to keep it slim. Use the "other" poll then and don't forget to mention the pairing as well then or else I can't use your nomination. Use the comment box to let me know anything else you may find important such as "This was the first H/W fic ever written" or whatever.

Defining "influential":

There's a distinct difference between just plain liking a story a whole bunch and feeling like it changed something. Fanfic awards are meant for your favorite fics. This poll however is meant to be different. What I want to know are fics that somehow influenced you and, in your opinion, the fandom. Like, sometimes a fic will turn you towards a pairing. Or change your perception of it. Or show you a genre you didn't think you'd like or that it could be combined with this fandom. Or it gave you new insights into the characters. Or it simply was the first of that kind and you were there to witness it. That's what I'm trying to find that out.

Please bear in mind, this is not a popularity contest but a serious attempt to find out which fics have moved the fandom. So don't go around campaigning to push your favorite writers. That'd be pointless since the results would be inaccurate.

Disclaimer of sorts:

This research is conducted purely out of fannish interest and for the benefit of the fandom. Your answers won't be quoted in any research paper or book and they will remain completely anonymous. There will be no great masterlist in the end that states who nominated who. The results are visible to me only and I will treat the information with utmost respect and discretion. Ideally, the end result of this will be a neat list showing a couple of fics that rocked the fandom, providing enough people participate to make any kind of evaluation reasonable. My nightmare would be to receive 100 individual recs... *g*

Please nominate in this format: Name by Author. Reason (optional).

The Polls )

Poll for House / Wilson )

Poll for House / Cameron )

Poll for House / Chase )

Poll for House / Cuddy )

Poll for House gen fics )

Poll for OT3 pairings )

Poll for other pairings )

Also, if you can, spread the links around so we can get as many members of the fandom from all over the place to participate! ^^

silversolitaire: (Take me from the wreckage)
Since I've seen a lot of people post this and I kinda hate the idea of doing one of those Year Review things for my life because this always depresses me, I've decided to do the writing one. It's kinda fun actually! :-P I wasn't going to do it at first because I thought I hadn't actually accomplished anything. I'm not exactly a prolific writer and I don't churn out one story after the other, and frankly I'm in awe at people who write like a fic a week. But now that I've completed the survey I guess I'm not so lame after all! :D

One year in stories

Total fic count: 8 fics = 102,331 words

Fuck 2D (4,722) Only fic I've written in the Gorillaz fandom before it totally put me off.
Perfect Stranger (4,662) unfinished NCIS fic which I abandoned because canon came dangerously close to my idea and I got disheartened...
My Favorite Year (14,433) first story I've written in the House fandom and a med school AU already... geeze.
The Way We Were (10.217) unfinished sequel to My Favorite Year, on hiatus as I am uncertain whether I should really be doing this.
Desk Duty (3,201) short and silly smut tie-in for "Cane and Able". Hardly noteworthy and the reason why I shouldn't be writing short... hah.
Altruism (26,787) written in record time (two weeks), touching unusual subjects. First time I've written such gore.
Days of Grace (32,423) first prompt I've written for the [ profile] hw_fest, featuring pairings I never thought I'd find myself writing!
Differential Detention (5,886) second prompt, also short and silly. I'm just not good at this sort of thing... heh.

Best of the batch: Uhm... uh.... uhm... that's like asking me to pick which one of by children I like the most! I guess I'm torn between "My Favorite Year" and "Altruism". I'm still impressed with the language of "My Favorite Year" and I can't believe I've written that. With "Altruism" I'm mighty proud of the idea in general and I know I've been the first one to write such a weird and whacky cross-over in the fandom, so that makes me feel special. Also, it's the one I put the most work in, research-wise. It felt like a real accomplishment.
Most underappreciated by the universe: Uuuuh... I actually never really felt underappreciated in the fandoms I've written in this year. House is an amazing fandom with friendly, responsive fans. So, I was always very pleased with the response I got. If I venture off into my entire arsenal of fics, I probably would need to say "I See Your Faces in the Strangest Places". I know that fic isn't the best I've ever written, it's probably not even that good in the first place, but it meant something to me then. I don't know if I'd still write something like that today, but it was special then. But Velvet Goldmine has always been a small fandom, so I guess it's natural that fics just breeze by. I did get some feedback for it though. The only fic that hasn't gotten any feedback is that deplorable M:I-2 fic I've written years ago and which I've hid away from the world for good reason, haha.
Most fun to write: Most definitely "Altruism". Even though it was incredibly draining to write it was also the most gratifying experience I have had in a long time. It was the first time I've written with a "writing coach", so to speak. kribbanKris had started taking an interest in House and she was really excited about my idea. It was wonderful to write, knowing someone was there who was interested in it, asked about it every day, gave incredibly helpful suggestions and just helped me stay on focus all the time (something which I often can't). It was simply amazing. I mean, I've tried partner writing before, but that had never really worked out. Probably because I am, deep inside, kinda self-absorded about my writing and I need to feel like I am the artist here. Horrible thought, I know... Either way, this was just wonderful and I guess that was also what helped me to finally develop a writing habit which allows me to actually write a healthy amount every day. It's actually giving me hopes for the future that I could actually be a real writer one day.
Sexiest fic: Heh... no clue. "Days of Grace" maybe? I liked the vague sex scenes in the flashbacks and the Chase bits were pretty hot, too. I'd like to think all of my sex scenes are sexy! :-P
Smuttiest fic: "Fuck 2D" was pretty pointless and smutty, yeah. I don't mind calling that one smutty. Usually I dislike that term since it seems to lack a certain depth. Even the one smut fic I wrote in the House fandom, "Desk Duty", still had an emotional component to it that I find important.
Fluffiest fic: ... I don't think there is one. I don't really write fluff, do I?? Of all the fics I've written this year, I suppose "Differential Detention" is the fluffiest, but I wouldn't actually call it fluffy... no.
Most angsty: "Altruism" again, of course. Seriously, it's one big tour de force.
Most canon: Hm, dunno... I pride myself of trying to stick to canon and be in character as much as possible. I suppose, sad as it sounds, "Desk Duty" probably was the most canon, as tie-ins tend to be. All the others had one or two aspects about it that made them rather removed from canon. "My Favorite Year" being AU all over, "Altruism" forcing Wilson into OOCness a bit (for plot reasons), "Day of Grace" also being a little AU-ish... yeah.
Least canon: "My Favorite Year", most likely. I mean, of course House and Wilson never went to med school together and I had to strain canon facts a lot to make it half-plausible. But it didn't really hurt the story, did it?
"Holy crap, that's wrong even for you" fic: Hahaha... probably "Altruism" again! I mean, writing gory scenes about sawing off your own limbs... yeah, that was pretty insane.
Fic that shifted your own perceptions of the characters: Hmmm... that'll be "Days of Grace" I suppose. I never really thought I'd write about Chase and I didn't know how he'd turn out when I started writing it, but in the end I was pleased with the results and I've warmed up to Chase a bit. Just a little bit though! :-P
Hardest fic to do: "Altruism", probably. The amount of research I had to do for it was insane. It probably took up 50% of the creative process. But it really paid off. It was also very straining to write, emotionally, but I loved that. The posting process of a part a day was also extremely gruelling and I'm not sure if I ever want to do something like that again.
Biggest disappointment: "Perfect Strangers" I guess, because I really thought the idea was great and then canon made my awesomely creative idea just a mere rehash of what already had happened on the show. Maybe I'll pick it up again later, who knows. I mean, in the end canon wasn't quite like my idea, not even remotely, but I was still peeved and disappointed.
Biggest surprise: "Days of Grace", hands down. I didn't really want to write it. I didn't even know why the fuck I claimed it since I've always been upset with the whole Grace idea and I didn't like her as a character at all. But I had committed to something, so I had to do it. My first idea was kinda lame, too, but with the help of kribbanKris and a lot of brainstorming sessions we came up with a kick-ass idea. As I was writing it, I still didn't think it was that great, but I went along. I even put in House/Chase because I had promised it to Kris. It just seemed weird all over. And then it was done and I published it and suddenly everybody loved it. That was very weird.
silversolitaire: (retarded)
I know a couple of peeps on my f-list have had experience with vidding. I'm trying my hand on one right now, too. I don't expect any stellar results, but right now I'm encountering a bunch of problems that annoy the fuck out of me and that I just can't figure out. My main problem is that my source is in letterbox format (which I can't really pinpoint since somehow every video seems to have a different size >.>;). Anyway, it's letterbox. But Microsoft Movie Maker only wants to output 640x480 or 320x240. Which makes sense. Yet it causes the end result to be squashed. That looks mega sucky and I hate it. Obviously, I need to add black bars at the top and bottom. But how?!? And how can I make the program do what I want? x_x

Alternatively, I'm willing to use a different program. I tried out Zweistein but I couldn't even begin to figure out what it wanted from me O.o. I'd like to have a program that's pretty much catering to n00bs like me.

And then there's the problem that the end result is less than stellar. I understand that I can't expect supermegacrisp images with a free program, but I want them to at least not be completely and utterly shitty and grainy. Is there any other way to achieve that? I see that I can save it as some DVD thing but then the output is insane! Like 800 megs or so! This is inacceptable obviously... Unless I can reduce that again later with VirtualDub... must check. But how do you guys do it? O.o;
silversolitaire: (shocked)
Potter hormones in overdrive as he turns 15

HARRY Potter is set to get SMOOCHY in his new book - by falling under the spell of a girl.

Author JK Rowling has revealed the schoolboy wizard’s hormones start "working overtime" as he turns 15.

And that means fans can expect sauciness as well as sorcery at the famous Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

Rowling, 36, admits "more boy-girl stuff" is inevitable. But she REFUSED to say if Harry’s bossy chum Hermione - played by Helen Watson in the current Potter movie - is the target of his love interest.

Rowling says of Harry and his pals in a BBC1 Omnibus documentary next Friday: "They’re fifteen now - hormones working overtime."

[pic] Romeo ... Harry, alias Daniel Radcliffe

[pic] Pal ... Helen Watson as bossy Hermione

She added: "Harry finds out a lot more about his past, and gets to go to places in the magical world we haven’t yet visited."

Rowling admitted she plans to kill off at least one major character - but refused to say who.

She said: "More people are going to die and there’s at least one death that’s going to be horrible to write."

Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix will be the fifth in the series of books that have made Rowling a multi-millionaire.


Not that I'm not dying to read them, but I just dread what's going to happen. Same with the other two Star Wars flicks... *heavy sigh*

*mutters* Like hell Harry and 'Mione are gonna end up together. And I bet you a tenner that the "death that’s going to be horrible to write" is either Sirius or Remus. T_T

And don't ask me what's the deal with all those capitalizations and bold letters.


silversolitaire: (Default)

February 2009

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